hopeless
have I ever felt so desperate? as if I have lost all my joy, hopes, and passion. among my remaining feelings is anger. some nights, my eyes get filled with tears of rage and frustration. I am just constantly angry with everyone and everything beyond my control. so be it. don't want to change. don't want to struggle anymore. whatever comes my way, I'll settle. no arguments, no outbursts, no possibilities, no dreams. yet I will decide - reject or accept. but no more. no tailoring on my options. no optimisation. no nothing. because I can't find the strength. to hope. to believe. to live.